There is a certain amount of "fame" attached to being a missionary. I'm not sure if it is because you tend to speak in front of people and they see you on the stage at church or in some similar setting where you are the focus of attention. Or is it because missionaries tend to be in places doing things that the average person cannot and will not even conceive of doing...? (as for myself, I am in awe of nurses and teachers)
Well, whatever the reason, I'd always felt that there was a considerable amount of fame and glamour attached to us because we served the Lord on foreign soil. Don't misunderstand me, I find the whole thing humbling and occasionally humorous (like I said, the thought of giving needles to small children or teaching high schoolers all day gives me the shakes...those are the people we should be in awe of).
To be truthful, I don't miss it. Even in India I was a "celebrity." The only "white" person, American/foreigner around. I spoke their language, I shopped where they shopped. I never had to give my name, leave a number or pay a deposit. Everyone knew me. Everyone. (at least everyone in our city.)
How I often longed to just be normal. To go somewhere and be Nobody. I think it will happen. But not today and probably not tomorrow.
I find that I have gone from "famous" to "notorious." I am now the one who is recognized for speaking in a church or seen on a video, or prayed for. For those who are not "in the know," in the "inner circle," or well, on the mailing list, I now get, "I knew you looked familiar, you're the missionary in India, what are you doing home?" And there I am, compelled to give a synopsis of my life collapse to a stranger.
These are the guts, people.
At least I'm communicate-y.
Yes, I would be happy to do without the fame of being the one white person in the city. The city is bigger so whenever I go outside of "my area" I get starred at more and asked more questions. I kinda like when it's hot because I wrap my head like some of the Indian girls here do and since the only thing visible is my eyes, I get ignored...as long as I don't open my mouth:). Not a missionary so I don't get so much fame back in the states but I am still that girl that lives in India. The people in the church all ask me really funny questions, most of them think India is a Muslim country and that people here all wear burquas and speak Arabic or Indian.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing that though we are from the same area, we have traveled very different roads. I always dreamed of being a missionary, I went to a Christian college and there were many opportunities to become a missionary, but I was "in love" with a boy back at home. I chose the "normal" lifesyle of the American wife and Mom. Now that I'm forty and have 3 children and I am that "nobody", God has been so faithful to teach me to lean on His faithfulness when my world is in chaos. His lessons and discipline are painful, but so sweet in the end. He has promised us His presence and his comfort in times of trial. So whether we are that "nobody" or someone "note-worthy", we are all "note-worthy" to a God who doesn't forget His precious children. And whatever lifesyle you are in, His presence and love are what make us stable. At that, my sister can never be taken from us! :) Praise God! My prayers are with you every day. You and your family are precious.
ReplyDeleteI understand, Rebecca! Well, the fame part, not the spilling-my-guts-to-strangers part. Praying for you, dear sister, as you transition from "that girl from India" or "that white girl" to "that woman of faith." You may still always be known for that, but that's God's fault. ; )
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Melissa
Girl,
ReplyDeleteI lOVE the vulnerability in your writing. We can all relate to some degree with something you write - so thank you for being open. I hear you about the "fame" in being a missionary. At first its fun, then I started to resent being in the spotlight because of it. But eventually, God showed me that it's a gift he's given. There's purpose in it that went beyond me. There will be moments in life when know one knows us and won't care who we are or if we traveled for Jesus or not. But for now, you have the fame... maybe so that you can continue to bring Him fame. Ask God what you're to do with it. But know, he delights in you Rebecca. You rest under His smile.
Love ya sister,
Melissa G