Why I Am Here

Wow, that just puts it all right out there. Why am I here in NJ instead of there in India? I had/have a house, a ministry, a family. A twelve year investment. Up until a couple months ago I was certainly ready to be buried on Indian soil. I gladly put up with daily mosquito attacks, a foreign language communication, 24/7 Indian food, no hot running water, dust, heat, cockroaches, poop in the streets, gov't corruption, no English language movies and being away from my entire family. I repeat, gladly. I was Home. I had purpose and vision. I had people who depended on me. People I could help and teach and lead. So, what happened? Was there one thing that just burst the bubble, some incident that tore everything down? I wish I had that answer, but I don't. All I know is that by August of 2010 I was in a dark dark place without a speck of light in sight and after much prayer, I made a decision that I knew would change everything. That decision to open my mouth and speak out about abuse that I had suffered turned a light on in my darkness. I had no idea then, NONE, that I might end up here today. But for the first time in my life I stopped trying to lead God where I wanted Him to go and grabbed on with both hands, shut my eyes and said, lead me where YOU want me to go. So, here I am.